Hard to say NO
I used to find it very hard to say the word NO to anyone.
When someone needed me or asked me to do anything, I would always say YES.
I used to CHANGE my plans, DROP everything to help out.
I used to also STOP doing things for myself, just incase someone needed me.
The VOICES in my HEAD would go, don’t do or PLAN anything just incase someone needs your help.
You have to help them because they need your help.
They are STRUGGLING
If you DONT HELP them, you are being very MEAN and SELFISH.
I felt WANTED and IMPORTANT. This felt really good.
I didn’t feel LONELY or STUPID for once.
I LOST so many contact with people, UPSET few friends because I kept CHANGING plans and not doing stuff with them.
I was on EDGE every time I had to make plans, just incase someone ASKED me to do something and I couldn’t.
I realised I cannot help everyone and always saying YES.
I am wearing myself out and HONESTLY people used to contact me only if they needed me to do something for them.
I started getting ILL, TIRED and DOWN all the time, because I was not doing anything for myself.
I started becoming ANXIOUS and FRUSTRATED.
I started realising these SIGNS and how I am ALLOWING it to AFRECT me.
I started saying NO.
Every time I said NO, I FELT AWFUL, I felt so bad, and I find every way to EXPLAIN why I can’t and I kept APOLOGISING all the time.
The VOICES in my head will go, Asma you have let them DOWN, you are so SELFISH and MEAN. They NEEDED you and you said NO. How could you?
My chest will HURT and find it hard to BREATH and STRUGGLE the whole day.
I then said to myself STOP this.
Take CONTROL and CHANGE it, only I can, no one else can do it for me. I have all the tools I need.
I started REFRAMING my mind.
I took a few minutes to CALM myself of down.
I CHANGED my MINDSET and realised I can’t do everything.
I need to enjoy my life as well.
I noticed people STOPPED contacting me COMPLETELY after I have said NO.
Those who are really my FRIEND are still my FRIENDS.
I realised I was SABOTAGING myself and being USED.
My friends and close colleagues will tell me that they know me, if I can I will help them, but if I can’t, it’s fine.
I can notice the signs now and change it quickly before I fall back in to old patterns.